Heroes - Ink

Speaking of great lines, Sylar has become quite funny trapped inside Matt Parkman's head.

"I wish I was a ghost. It would be so much better than this hell...being stuck in your miserable life. I mean, have you seen yourself eat a burrito?"

"I will be happy to leave you stewing in your mediocrity."

"Not as easy to ignore me as you thought. It's because I ooze charm..."

In response to Matt saying, "You're ignoring me now?" "It doesn't feel very good, does it?"

The new heroes are way less annoying than last season's rejects. The only new character I find irritating is Claire's new roomie, Gretchen played by Madeline Zima. Zima is also on Californication. I find her to be annoying on that show as well...

Another plus in the lack of annoyances department is the absence of Mohinder Suresh. Not even his mellifluous voiceover to disrupt the show. Unfortunately it looks like he's returning next week...

Koothrapalli Strikes Again

Maybe the writers give him all the best lines because much of the time he suffers from selective mutism around women.



"That's because in your dreams you're a horse from the waist down..."

Best line of the night...

Desperate Housewives - Nice is Different than Good

Show of hands--who was surprised that it was Susan up at the altar with Mike and not Katherine?

Yeah, me neither.

Susan's happiness came at the expense of Katherine--and it looks like there will be hell to pay the rest of the season. Hey, Susan! Think Edie was a bitch? You ain't seen nothing yet!

Gaby had a nice moment with rebellious wild child niece Ana. Lynette is suffering from pre-partum depression. And Bree and Karl are hooking up.

New neighbors Drea De Matteo along with hubby and surly son (How'd they manage to get themselves invited to Mike and Susan's wedding when they'd only lived on Wisteria Lane for less than three months?) have some sort of secret. Looks like young Danny is a psychopath than will make Julie and Susan Mayer regard creepy Zach Young in a more positive light.

Did y'all catch Max Carver aka Preston Scavo as one of the interns on the season opener of The Office? I wonder if this means more guest spots on other shows...After all, Lynette did say that Preston was moving to Europe. "We will never be done if we birth TWO every time ONE moves out...That's just math!"

Dexter - Living the Dream

It's finally arrived. The reason I got cable. The reason I subscribed to Showtime. Season four of Dexter. I've long doubted that the show could sustain its amazing edge-of-your-seat thrills, but each season it not only maintains but surpasses.

I believe season four won't be any different. A sleep-deprived new daddy Dexter has already set himself up to be found out for the serial killer that he is when he crashes his car before disposing of the body. In addition, Special Agent Lundy is back on the heels of another serial killer dubbed the "Trinity Killer" (John Lithgow--creepiness incarnate...) and Miami homicide is dealing with tourists being snuffed.

Welcome to Miami--not the best boost for tourism....

Loved Dexter musing about how he needs to be extra careful with his killings now that he's a Dad. "I'm killing for two now..."

Loved the pairing of Batista and Laguerta. Those two deserve to be happy.

Wonder what Lundy's return means for Deb's relationship with Anton...

And let's not forget Deb's search for the Confidential Informant with whom Harry had an affair. Once she finds out it was Laura Moser, Dexter's mom--as well as the details of how Harry found Dexter...

It's shaping up to be one heck of a season!

Facebook Thinks I'm Gay

...not that there's anything wrong with that!

Monica Hesse over at the Washington Post chatted online about a new Facebook app dubbed "Project Gaydar." According to Hesse, "it can determine users sexual orientation based on their Facebook associations."

Hmm...I'm not sure about that--but based on the ads Facebook serves up for me, it has apparently determined that I'm gay. Yup, I get ads for lesbian match-making services all the time. At least I'm not getting ads for Doc Marten boots and flannel shirts...

Dear Facebook, I am not gay. Stop with the lesbian dating service ads already!

Nick Thune Changes Your Life

Say what you will about Jay Leno--I like him. Especially for introducing the exceptionally hysterical Nick Thune to the American public. Much more entertaining than the Rush Limbaugh interview that followed.

LashFood

Forget silicone implants, Botox or Restylane. The latest cosmetic enhancement treatment is lash lengthening. No doubt you've seen the gorgeous Brooke Shields hawking the benefits of Latisse. This lash treatment was actually developed when doctors and patients noticed one of the side effects of the glaucoma drug bimatoprost was longer, thicker lashes. They quickly reformulated the drug and marketed it as a way to increase lash length and volume.

Unfortunately, while long lashes is a welcome side effect of a glaucoma treatment, the side effects of Latisse include darkening of iris pigment and conjunctivitis for starters.

Brooke's luscious lashes notwithstanding, the side effects of Latisse are enough to give one pause. And let's face it: Shields' dramatic lashes are mostly a matter of genetics, lash tint and film magic. So, if you don't want to take the risk of bimatoprost side effects, can you still have gorgeous lashes?

Absolutely!

LashFood is all-natural lash stimulant/conditioner that contains biotin, an essential vitamin, arginine, a natural amino acid--and root and herbal extracts. Developed to condition, repair, restore, and create longer healthier and more beautiful eyelashes and eyebrows, LashFood contains no harsh chemicals to irritate your eyes--or, more importantly--change the pigment in your iris!

I've been testing out the product for the last couple of months and here are my results:

Darker lashes? Hmm--not really. My lashes still require mascara for maximum "Oomph!"

Thicker lashes? Yes, a bit. Not falsies plush, but a bit more volume.

Longer lashes? Most definitely! The conditioning benefits of LashFood allow my lashes to grow to their maximum length. Add a bit of mascara and the tips nearly touch the bottom of my eyebrows.

LashFood carries a price tag similar to Latisse--but without the nasty side effects. So for a natural solution to skimpy lashes, look into LashFood.

Heroes - Orientation/Jump, Push, Fall

Season four of Heroes started out promisingly enough. Peter Petrelli is trying to save the world by using his powers to be a paramedic superhero, Claire's enrolled at college, Nathan is not feeling quite himself--probably because he's actually Sylar, Sylar's consciousness is haunting Matt Parkman, Tracy apparently did not die when she shattered into a zillion pieces--apparently she's like that mercurial Terminator and can re-coalesce at will, Hiro and Ando have joined forces to set up a Dial a Hero business in Tokyo and Noah is at a loss for what he should be doing with his life.

In the two-part, two hour season premiere:

Danko died (I thought he died last season...)
Claire's annoying college roommate died (I got stuck for entire semesters with annoying roommates--how'd she get so lucky?)
Sylar goads Matt into using his powers
Nathan is discovering powers he didn't know he had (because he's actually Sylar...)
Noah is injured by Edgar and saved by Peter

New characters include a super-fast Samurai guy named Edgar (Peter steals his power to help in his paramedic superhero role...), Arnold who has the same ability as Hiro to move through time and space--but who is dying, Lydia who presages the future through the tattoos that appear on her body, a guy who reads those tattoos and I haven't quite figured out what his power might be other than making the earth move. Literally. I wonder if he does earthquakes?

If season four keeps up this quality, it should be pretty interesting. At least none of these new characters is another Maya or Alejandro. What do we think the compass does?

Teaching Evolution to Creationists

My favorite part of last night's episode of The Big Bang Theory:



Laurie Metcalf looked great, didn't she?

I'm so happy the The Big Bang Theory is back with new episodes. Like Penny I wanted to wrap my arms around the show and give it a big, fat kiss...

Observe and Report on Blu-ray/DVD September 22nd

Seth Rogen movies I have found to be very amusing:

The Forty-year old Virgin
Superbad
Knocked Up
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Funny People

Seth Rogen movies I've found to be mildly amusing:

Pineapple Express

Seth Rogen movies that weren't funny at all:

Observe and Report

What's the difference between Seth Rogen as a slacker cop in Superbad vs. Seth Rogen as a hyper-vigilant mall cop in Observe and Report? My guess is that Seth Rogen is at his best in an ensemble cast rather than leading man. Even in Knocked Up, his role was balanced by a talented players such as Paul Rudd, Leslie Mann, Katherine Heigl, etc. In Observe and Report, the entire story centers around Rogen's delusional character--and unfortunately Rogen can't quite carry it off. (For a humorous take on Rogen the "actor," check out this satirical piece by my Facebook friend, Crystal Air Productions.)

It would hard for any actor to carry off the character of Ronnie Barnhart--a bipolar police wannabe with a drunken mother (Celia Weston), sycophantic co-worker (Michael Pena--slumming...) and obsession with slutty department store makeup artist (Anna Faris).

The film starts out promisingly with shots of "Forest Ridge Mall" really capturing the suburban mall culture. The opening seems to be reminiscent of Fast Times at Ridgemont High, but it quickly devolves into a disjointed series of scenes: Ronnie exercising his gung-ho authority, Ronnie patrolling the mall, flasher terrorizing females in the parking lot, a series of robberies in the mall, Ronnie pursuing the slutty Brandi, Ronnie trying to get into the police academy, blah blah blah.

I think I laughed once during the film.

Ronnie eventually captures the flasher (in the most gratuitous and shocking scene in the film), gets the girl (not the slutty Brandi, but sweet Nell played by Collette Wolfe, wife of writer/director Jody Hill, who ends up being the only sympathetic and likable character in the entire movie) and lives happily ever.

There's a lot of profanity, some violence and nudity--all of which separate this R-rated mall cop movie from the other mall cop movie. That OTHER mall cop movie made over $146 million domestically, however, while Observe and Report garnered only $24 million. The DVD, Blu-ray and digital download for Observe and Report available today contains no extras--no special features, outtakes, making of documentary. Just the feature.

Writer/director Jody Hill has earned kudos for his work as writer/director of Danny McBride vehicles Eastbound & Down and The Foot Fist Way. Maybe if McBride had played Ronnie Barnhart there would have been more than one laugh in Observe and Report.

The Green Hornet isn't supposed to be a comedy, is it?

Congrats Emmy Winners!

Didn't bother watching the show but I'm especially pleased that the following were recognized:

Toni Collette - Actress, Comedy

Kristin Chenoweth - Supporting Actress, Comedy

Michael Emerson - Supporting Actor, Drama

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (although I would have been even happier if Colbert had won...) - Comedy/Variety Show

Mad Men

I like it, but I'm not obsessed like many of my friends. Most likely because I missed season one and the whole "Don Draper" invention which laid the ground for the series. There is a sort of somnolent seductiveness to the show, I'll give you that. However, that smooth as a cold martini vibe was seriously disrupted with tonight's episode.

A severed foot? What the @#$%?!!! Reminiscent of the E.R. episode where Romano's arm was sliced off by a helicopter blade. That was brutal and shocking--but at least with E.R., blood spurting and grotesque injuries are de rigueur and therefore somewhat expected.

Sheesh!

The Informant!

Even though it clocks in at under two hours, The Informant! does have a tendency to drag a bit. Based on a true story, a title card at the beginning discloses that some characters are composites and dialogue dramatized.

So there.

The film about a pathological liar played with great gusto by Matt Damon is at its best when it explores the inane and utterly delusional inner dialogue of its subject.

My favorite part of the movie was one such tangential Whitacre voiceover:

"When polar bears hunt, they crouch down by a hole in the ice and wait for a seal to pop up. They keep one paw over their nose so that they blend in. Cuz’ they’ve got those black noses. They’d blend in perfectly if not for the nose...

So the question is. How do they know their noses are black? From looking at other polar bears? Do they see their reflections in the water? And think, “I’d be invisible if not for that.” That seems like a lot of thinking for a bear."

Damon is absolutely fantastic as Mark Whitacre, an ethically-challenged corporate whistle-blower. According to the synopsis at IMDB, Whitacre's participation in the FBI sting operation combined with having bipolar disorder led to a complete meltdown. Unfortunately, this unraveling was not examined with any depth in the film--although Whitacre's actions become increasingly erratic, it plays more like he's merely struggling to keep all the balls he's juggling in the air.

It would have also aided the story had Soderbergh and company let the truth unravel over the course of the film. It's pretty obvious early on that Whitacre isn't the "guy in the white hat" he purports to be. But kudos to Damon for creating a character so tragically comic, likeably loathsome and such a brilliant buffoon. The movie's not an Oscar contender, but Damon's performance most definitely is.

Lauren Hutton Naturals Face Disc

No doubt most of you are aware of my current obsession with using more natural and organic products to replace the chemical-laden lotions and potions in my cosmetic and skincare arsenal. So I was really psyched to get the opportunity to test out the new Lauren Hutton Naturals Face Disc.

Lauren Hutton Good Stuff was developed to provide make-up options for older women--but the versatile and inclusive palettes are useful and usable for all ages. The line includes everything from skincare to mascara, but it is the face discs that are truly outstanding.

The face discs come in four different shades: pink for very fair skin tones, yellow for those with gold undertones, olive for medium skin tones and brown for darker skin. Each disc contains a sheer concealer, four spot concealers, a pooch and nose shade, a shadow color, blush/lip tint, lip balm, liner and brow powder--each of which are color coded to match up with matching brushes.

The color coding also matches up with a face map that guides the application of each element. Personally, I'm not much into shading and contouring so I ended up making up my own map. Yup, that's me--blazing my own trail...I also used my fingers (for concealer/lip balm application) or my own brushes (shadow/brows) for application.

I used the sheer concealer for under eye circles and two of the spot concealers for--well, spots; using my fingers to pat it on gently. The concealers did a nice job of evening out my skin without looking cake-y or mask-y.

The liner is a deeply pigmented chocolate color which went on smoothly with a bit of water and my liner brush. The brow powder looks like a pale taupe in the disc, but filled my naturally dark brows in perfectly. The shadow powder is meant for contouring, but instead I used in as an eyeshadow. It's a warm, neutral brown shade that reminded my of MAC Wedge.

I don't wear blush except for "special occasions," but the neutral peach shade looked very natural. Mixed with the lip balm, it made a lovely sheer lip tint as well. The entire palette comes in a gorgeous case, small enough to fit in most purses.

I loved just about everything about the Naturals Face Disc. If I was creating the perfect face palette, the only modifications I would make would be:

1. Develop a set of mini-brushes to go with the palette as well as a way to store them with the case in order to make the palette a more complete make-up solution.
2. I'd split the contour shadow in half and keep one side the shadow and the other side a highlighter. This would work for both the face and the eyes.
3. I'd also split the lip balm into a clear and colored shade. The blush mixed with the balm works well as a lip tint, but you risk messing up the blush.
4. I'd give up two of the concealers (three is enough) and replace with one sheer finishing powder.

In addition to being multi-functional, the Naturals Face Disc lives up to its name featuring:

• 95% + Natural Origin Ingredients recommended by The Natural Products Association
• High concentrations of plant-based ingredients
• An anti-aging cocktail of Grape Seed Oil, Green Tea, Vitamin A, E and C, Avocado Oil and Bamboo

It's really nice to find make-up that's made up of good stuff while making you look good.

In the Loop

This scathingly, profane look at the events leading up to the Iraq war is a must-see for jaded policy wonks. If The West Wing is your idea of good political drama, be prepared to bitch-slapped into reality. In the Loop features an array of bureaucratic bullies, idiots, game players, blackmailers and bull$@#%.

Take the back-room machinations of The Deal and add the lunacy of Monty Python's Flying Circus and you've got an idea of the twisted sickness of this film. You won't recognize most of the cast, but they are all uniformly excellent. Players that may be familiar: David Rasche as the hawkish Senator, James Gandolfini as a pacifist General, Steve Coogan as a British constituent and Mimi Kennedy who is outstanding as spoiler Senator Karen Clarke. Another familiar face is that of Anna Chlumsky--all grown up--as a junior staffer.

There are no starry-eyed romantics looking to save the world here, although the film mocks the American obsession with youth. "You know they're all kids in Washington? It's like Bugsy Malone, but with real guns," notes a British bureaucrat. Later British politician Malcolm Tucker storms out of a briefing with a 22 year-old aide and fumes to Senator Barwick:

Malcolm Tucker: I've just come from a briefing with a nine-year-old child.

Linton Barwick: You're talking about AJ. AJ is one of our top guys. He's a Stanton College Prep, Harvard. One of the brightest and best.

Malcolm Tucker: Well, his briefing notes were written in alphabetti spaghetti. When I left, I nearly tripped up over his fucking umbilical cord.

Linton Barwick: I'm sorry it troubles you that our people achieve excellence at such an early age. But could we just move on to what's important here? Now, I understand that your Prime Minister has asked you to supply us with some, say, fresh British intelligence, is that true?

Malcolm Tucker: Yeah, apparently, your fucking master race of highly-gifted toddlers can't quite get the job done...

Linton Barwick: All right.

Malcolm Tucker: ...between breast feeds and playing with their Power Rangers. So, an actual grown-up has been asked to fucking bail you out.

That's just a sample of the unceasing biting wit that makes the film so damn funny--and so painfully true. The only explosions are the short-fused rants of bitter bureaucrats; the only deaths are career-suicides--but in many ways In the Loop is a far scarier war movie than The Hurt Locker or Stop-Loss.

Irony

A recent article in the Washington Post reported how Hollywood is suing Bollywood rip-offs of its films.

Seriously?

A recent $200,000 settlement against an Indian filmmaker who plagiarized My Cousin Vinny (What? No musical version of To Kill a Mockingbird?) was seen as a positive event for the Indian film making community:

"Indian film critics hope the landmark "My Cousin Vinny" payout will encourage Bollywood producers to find more experimental and original story lines. There has traditionally been a lot of pressure on Bollywood to produce proven moneymakers, especially because many of the films were bankrolled by Mumbai's wealthy underworld figures. But now, cleaner money is making its way into Bollywood."

Ya gotta love it. Hollywood is suing Bollywood for ripping it off. They say imitation is a form of flattery, but India not only imitates Hollywood with cheesy Bollywood versions of its films, but by the very act of the rip-off!

Hollywood is the absolute master of the rip-off. Especially when it comes to ripping off itself. Reboots of Beverly Hills 90210 and now Melrose Place? Another movie version of Fame populated by your favorite sitcom stars (Debbie Allen, Kelsey Grammar, Megan Mullaley, Bebe Neuwirth?). Is it ripping off the 1980 movie--or the rip-off 1982 TV series?

Not to mention Saw I-V, Final Destination 1-4, Fast and Furious 1-4 and all the freaking Halloween movies. Yeah, let's sue Bollywood. That'll solve the copycat problem.

Pot, meet kettle.

Votre Vu Tart D'amande Body Souffle

I'm big on foodie scents. Vanilla, citrus, chocolate, cocoa butter, coconut. Smelling good enough to eat is high on my list of priorities when it comes to body products.

Votre Vu Tart D'Armande Body Souffle not only smells awesome, but it actually does a fabulous job of keeping my skin soft and supple. Loaded with super rich ingredients like macadamia oil, grape seed oil, shea butter, coconut oil and sweet almond oil. Despite being full of oils, my skin completely drinks in this luscious cream. Yeah, initially my body is a bit slick after application, but eventually it's absorbed as it totally hydrates my skin.

And, as I mentioned earlier, it smells heavenly. Like Almond Sugar cookies. You will be seriously tempted to lick your arm or find some way to ingest this delicious body cream. But think of it as food for your skin. A delectable indulgence of epicurean proportions--without the high caloric ramifications.

Fringe Season One on DVD Today

For all you sci-fi fans mourning the loss of The X-Files, J.J. Abrams offers up Fringe--which, in addition to squirmingly odd occurrences like spontaneous human combustion, over-sized viruses and syphilis-ridden vampires, features alternate realities, morally ambiguous characters and cutie Joshua Jackson.

The Mulder/Scully character is portrayed by Anna Torv as Olivia Dunham. The former FBI agent is recruited by the Department of Homeland Security's "Fringe" science division where she tracks down the carnage created by science run amok--also known as "The Pattern." Of course it helps to have the memories of your former lover and double-agent John Scott (Mark Valley) implanted in your brain. And dotty mad scientist Walter Bishop (John Noble) and his surly caretaker son Peter (aforementioned hottie Jackson...) to assist you.

If you think LOST is out there, you ain't seen nothing yet until you check out Fringe. Aided by former LOST cast member Lance Reddick (aka Matthew Abaddon) as Oliva's boss (Good guy? Bad guy? Your guess is as good as mine...) and Michael Giacchino doing the music (I swear, every time there's a scene break I keep expecting the smoke monster to appear...), Fringe has signature Abrams touches throughout. I half expect Dunham to realize she's working for SD-6 next season.

The series is quite stylish--right down to the odd 3-D location subtitles and gore-ific special effects. Most people will get sucked into the paranormal phenomena, but I loved the comic interplay between the not-quite-in-his-right-mind Walter and the perennially-put-upon Peter. In addition to all 20 episodes of the first season, the DVD has an additional 6 hours of special features-- including featurettes, production diaries, producer and writer commentaries, deleted scenes, gag reel, Blu-Ray exclusive content and much more.

Could Fringe's alternate realities (Peter Bishop is actually Pacey Witter--from the alternate "reality" of "Dawson's Creek"...) be the clue to the LOST finale? Hmm--I wonder... But until LOST returns in 2010, you can always get your Abrams mind game fix with Fringe. The season one finale airs on Thursday, September 10th at 9 pm on Fox and season two premieres the following week. And Fringe: The Complete First Season is available on DVD and Blu-ray today.

The Entourage Marathon - part 3

Watched episodes 2-8 of Entourage with my friend Dave today. Seems episode one fell through the cracks--but otherwise I'm caught up on season six.

The tagline for this season is "Life changes. Friends don't." What also never changes is the formula that is Entourage: hot cars, hotter girls, lots of sex, outrageous spending. Well, maybe a few things have changed. Vince is still Vince--but Turtle is in an actual relationship and going back to school, Eric gets a real job other than just being Vince's manager, Ari is cuddly family man at home and Lloyd tormentor at work and even Drama has an interesting storyline this season.

Although the show allegedly revolves around the career of Vincent Chase, he is by far the least interesting and watchable character on the show. Still the insider references and conspicuous consumption are what keep me coming back. Not to mention the diverse cameos and the always entertaining Jeremy Piven.

It's also kind of fun seeing perennial good guy Matt Letscher (Eli Stone, Brothers and Sisters) playing a major douche-bag on Entourage. Wonder what torture he has in store for Drama? It was also funny to see the bit that inspired the Seth Rogen/Doug Ellin feud:

50 Things Being Killed by the Internet

There's a great article in the UK Telegraph about 50 things made obsolete by the Internet. The first thing that's cool about it is realizing the changes (not all good!) that have occurred with the advent of new connectivity technologies (remember coming home from work and listening to messages on your answering machine?). The second cool thing is discovering the similarities and differences between the U.S. and U.K. (Ceefax?).

And the last cool thing is the mostly literate, snark-free and calm responses the article generated as opposed to the usual troll-baiting, flame-throwing free-for-all:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Sex, Religion and Politics

I'm pretty sure Miss Manners would have a pithy comeback regarding Facebook status postings. As in polite conversation, I sincerely question the wisdom of people who wear their politics on their sleeve. Especially when they are egregiously uninformed.

Okay--there's no fighting ignorance I suppose, but whatever happened to plain ol' civility? The latest meme on Facebook is all about health care reform (remember when it was a place where you could toss virtual livestock at each other all in good fun?) and the knives are coming out.

This is the status update people are posting:

"No one should die because they cannot afford health care, and no one should go broke because they get sick. If you agree, please post this as your status for the rest of the day."

Sounds reasonable--but to many idiots stalwarts it's a thrown-down gauntlet. I submit to you that anyone satisfied with the current state of health care--which is to say, where you or your employer pay an outrageous monthly premium to an insurer that limits who you can see, what treatments you can be prescribed, how much they will cover, etc.--has either never gone without health insurance or had to deal with a chronic illness.

Having type 1 diabetes means that unless I work for a company with group health insurance, I am un-insurable. Because health insurance isn't about providing health care, it's about minimizing risk and maximizing profits. And even with group health insurance I am forced to navigate a system which is more about preventing me from obtaining health care rather than providing me with the means to do so.

I've had health insurance and I've been without health insurance--and in my experience neither situation is ideal as a means of health care. Anyone who thinks that a single payer solution like in Canada or Great Britain would be a bureaucratic nightmare hasn't navigated a health insurance phone tree. We already have the bloated bureaucracy--it's called "Blue Cross" or "Blue Shield."

And @#$% you to the moron who thinks I should move to Canada or England because I'm dissatisfied with the way the current system works. I hope you never contract a chronic illness which forces you try to actually get health care from your health insurer (good luck with that!), or have them raise your premiums or rescind your coverage as many health insurance companies have done (Well, actually I sorta do...).

It's time to remove the profit motive from health care. And it's time to get back to tossing sheep and whatnot on Facebook.