Desperate Housewives - Marry Me a Little

Loved the noir homage in last night's episode of Desperate Housewives. Karl Mayer as Bogart and Bree Hodge as Bacall.

Pretty clever.

Karl's plan to rob Bree's home in order to conceal her possessions from community property almost works. Bree's fussiness and insisting to Karl, "Wipe your feet first. I just had the carpets cleaned," leads him to retort later, "Man, it must be stressful being you."

When Bree and Orson arrive back to a ransacked house, Bree is worried but Orson's response to her timid, "We've been robbed," is "It wasn't me. I swear!" She gets cold feet when Orson gallantly arranges to replace a Venetian mask for her, but Karl reassures her with a little "Here's looking at you, kid" speech. Bree asks if he says the same thing to all his clients, to which Karl replies, "Hell, no. I get some real uggos in here. You know the kind who are gonna die alone and get eaten by their cats."

That Karl. Such a charmer!

Karl's scheme is derailed when Bree's storage unit calls her cell phone and Orson answers it.

Susan and Jackson's sham marriage almost hits the skids as well when Susan realizes that she won't be receiving Mike's alimony payments. Mike is inspired (for better or worse) to propose to Katherine--and although she is suspicious of his motives, she accepts. When Susan confides her dilemma, Katherine isn't about to let Susan's wedding get called off and thus affect hers. So she texts Susan pretending to be Mike and agreeing to continue the alimony.

Hmmm--wondering if she's gonna to pay it, too?

It's a moot point because Dave Williams overheard the whole conversation and arranges for the INS to pick Jackson up just as he and Susan are on their way to the courthouse. That way there's no witness around to put him at the scene of the crime for the nightclub fire and death of Dr. Heller.

Tom experiences the same ageism that Lynette faced earlier this season and, after hearing the secret of a former classmate's youthful appearance, decides plastic surgery is the answer. Lynette tries to dissuade him by introducing him to Bruce from Accounting who recently had a little work done. "Really?," says Tom startled, "Have they finished?"

"If you're unsatisfied with your looks someday you're gonna be unsatisfied with mine," Lynette tells him when shocking him with Bruce doesn't work.

Gabby runs into an old friend at a soup kitchen and needs to find out how the once wealthy acquaintance ended up with nothing. She is warned by Frann that despite coming back from the brink of financial disaster, she's not immune to losing it all.

With Jackson out of the picture, Dave's plan to kill M.J. as revenge against Susan is back on track. Although I can't help but wonder why that wasn't the plan to begin with. Does he really think Mike would have been more devastated by Katherine's death than the loss of his young son?

And Mike is still pining for Susan. Poor Katherine!

Oh well--maybe she'll hook up with Jackson. And if so, maybe she'll trim his bangs. That piece of hair in his eyes was bugging me last night...