Desperate Housewives - Bargaining

Poor M.J. The six year old has become a pawn in multiple schemes. From Katherine using him to raise the marriage issue with Mike to Bree bribing him with macaroons so he will invite Evan Mayer to his sleepover, the kid is being manipulated right and left. Plus Dave is plotting his "accidental" drowning death on a sailboat trip he's invited Susan on.

And if that wasn't enough, Evan hit him with a dead squirrel to boot!

Katherine's scheme to get Mike talking about marriage doesn't end happily for her--he tells her, "I don't see myself getting married again."

Susan on the other hand will be walking down the aisle with Jackson. Only it's not what you think--or what she thought as she confessed to Jackson how lonely she was and how much she loved and missed him. Jackson needs to get married to keep from getting kicked out of the country and back to Canada due to his expired visa.

Hasn't this plotline been done before?

Jackson's return may redirect psychotic Dave Williams from his plan to off M.J. to Jackson instead. Of course, Dave doesn't realize that this is a marriage of convenience. Looks like Jackson would have been better being deported...

Dave's plan may be thwarted as the detectives investigating the nightclub fire are getting closer to the truth. They have learned that the identity of the dead body in the storage room is Dr. Heller. They haven't figured out the connection to Dave yet and are now focused on trying to find Jackson.

Bree's bribing M.J. had much better results: she was able to retain shark lawyer Karl Mayer--Susan's ex--to represent her in her divorce of Orson. She has to pretend that all is well with Orson in the meantime however. I'm glad Karl is back--he's a hoot. When Bree tells him that she's sure that news of her divorcing Orson comes as a shock. "Not really," Karl replies. "I've met him. The guy's a stiff."

Gaby is dealing with Carlos being awarded Latino Businessman of the Year and her six year-old Juanita wearing makeup. When Carlos and Gaby confront her, she tells them the girls at school told her she wasn't pretty enough to be former model Gaby's daughter.

Carlos decides that Gaby will go without makeup at the award dinner to prove to Juanita that beauty is only skin deep. "Yeah, once you see this skin without foundation you may want to rethink that!" Gaby tells him. Of course once they show up at the banquet, Gaby looks gorgeous even allegedly "without" makeup. She freaks out at being photographed without it and rushes into the ladies room to score some cosmetics.

She wrenches a makeup bag out of a germaphobic Asian woman's hand and when the woman threatens to call security, Gaby retorts "You know for a woman who has a purse full of dinner rolls you sure have some attitude!"

Although she looks stunning for the photo (she looked fine before), Juanita is disappointed. Later Gaby explains that she wants Juanita to explore other facets of herself rather than just being focused on her appearance.

Lynette and Tom are trying to reignite the passion in their marriage by having sex every night. But the schedule includes quickies at the office and Lynette falling asleep during one session. So Tom gets all pissed at Lynette and in his petulance, becomes almost as annoying as Susan Mayer. But he confesses to Lynette that the reason he is so adamant about sticking to their sex every day for thirty days plan is "because you are the only thing in my life that I'm passionate about."

Sweet, but sad.

One more episode left until the two-hour season finale. Anyone want to make some predictions?