Desperate Housewives - A Vision's Just a Vision

Of all the tender and tragic moments on last night's episode of Desperate Housewives, the most tragic had to be Lynette's jeans. Someone needs to fire the wardrobe person because those torn up, stone washed denim are a crime against humanity. The only thing was a worse eyesore was her hairstyle.

I'm guessing Felicity Huffman is gunning for an Emmy and the dowdy hair and clothing are her version of a prosthetic nose.

Dave's lie to the police causes Porter to be arrested by the police. Having used the emergency fund to pay off Anne Schilling, Lynette mortgages the restaurant in order to make bail for Porter. Out of jail, Porter is approached by Warren Schilling who threatens to make him disappear. And disappear he does--skipping bail and town and leaving twin Preston to pretend to be him at the arraignment to give him a head start.

While Lynette deals with heavy issues such as one of her sons going to jail in place of the other, Susan's weighty issues have to with M.J. (it stands for "Maynard James" people--the names of Mike's grandfathers) dropping a bowling ball on Katherine's foot. It seems M.J. is taking too well to Mike dating. Edie is the one who clues Susan is that her actions speak louder than words with M.J. and kids pick up on that stuff.

And just when I was thinking that is was quite a role reversal for Edie to play the wise friend with Susan, she adds the kicker: "Two of my friends involved in a catfight? I live for that stuff!"

Good ol' Edie--you can always count on her for the snark!

After the bowling ball incident, Mike and Susan sit down with M.J. and find out that he's so hostile toward Katherine because he believes Mike and Susan will get back together. Susan asks Mike if he's ever contemplated the idea of their never being together again, but he refuse to discuss it.

Bree finds out that Andrew has been living with Alex--the doctor who performed surgery on Orson's deviated septum--for the last six months. Bree is aghast that Andrew would hide this information from her saying, "The man's a doctor--you've done better than I did!" (If I remember correctly first husband Rex was a doctor even if Orson is merely a dentist...) She invites Andrew and Alex over for dinner.

In an effort to be supportive, Bree urges the couple to "scootch" closer on the sofa. Andrew tells her, "As much as we appreciate your tolerance, we can wait until we get home to make out." Then the other dinner guests arrive--Bob and Lee, the token gay couple next door. (Hey, I love Bob and Lee and was gratified to see them getting more airtime, but Tuc Watkins is one of the funniest humans on the planet and being relegated to being the Scavo lawyer or Kevin Rahm's straight man is a crying shame...)

The two recognize Alex from somewhere and Bree gets them to admit they saw Alex in an adult movie. "By "adult" do you mean complex and sophisticated?" Bree asks hopefully. Later, Bree confronts Andrew with the DVD and Andrew tells her that Alex told him long ago about his youthful indiscretion--and given his own checkered past, he's OK with it.

So Bree's got a wedding to cater--might that be scheduled for May sweeps?

The big news was Carlos getting his sight back--and finding out that Gaby sold his baseball autographed by Lou Gehrig that had been passed down from generation to generation in his family. Gaby attempts to retrieve it from the rich Italian collector before Carlos found out it was missing. Via a translator, the Italian offers to return it if he can watch Gaby dance on the table.

Gaby refuses and leaves--but when Carlos demands she get the baseball back, she returns to dance for the Italian. The return of Carlos' sight allows him not only to see his little girls for the first time, but the sacrifices Gaby has made to keep them afloat financially. All her designer dresses, expensive shoes and jewelry were sold to pay the mortgage. Gaby returns with the baseball which she tosses at Carlos.

"Why are you limping?" Carlos asks. "Fell off a table. Don't want to talk about it." Gaby replies.

Later Gaby sees a beautiful dress hanging in her closet; Carlos sold his baseball to buy it for her. The scene where he thanks her for all her sacrifices really touching. Carlos tells Gaby he's going to sell his watch to buy her shoes to go with the dress. "It's a knock-off," Gaby tells him. "I sold the real one two years ago to get the roof fixed."

Looks like the writers pulled a fast one on us with the Dave Williams story. Here we were thinking that Dave held a grudge against Mike for killing his brother during a fight when they were both in prison, but it turns out that Dave's anger is over the deaths of Lila and Paige Dash--the mother and child killed in the car accident that ended Mike and Susan's marriage.

Hmm--I thought Susan was driving the car when the accident happened...Has Dave directed his rage at the wrong person?