Desperate Housewives - Me and My Town

Seven people died in the club fire that we saw on last week's episode. Or, more accurately--seven EXTRAS died in the club fire.

But the upside of the tragedy is that while doing a cat scan on Carlos' head to assess his injuries, the doctor notices something. "Please tell me it's not my hearing. I'm already down to four senses!" Carlos says. But it's not his hearing--it's a bone fragment that's been pressing on his optic nerve which may be the reason for his blindness. He arranges for Carlos to have surgery to possibly regain his sight.

(Didn't I say that Carlos wouldn't stay blind permanently? Okay, I did predict he'd regain his sight before the end of last season, but I wasn't too far off...)

Unfortunately the happy news upsets Gaby who worries that Carlos won't be attractive once he can see how she's lost her looks post-childbirth, etc. With a month prior to surgery, she goes on a crash diet--and makes the girls go along with her. Personally, it seems to me that both Juanita and her younger sister could afford to lose more weight than Gaby needs to...

Carlos is excited at the prospect at seeing Christmas lights (That's a sight that always makes me happy, too!), but Gaby warns him that the lights may have lost their luster. Carlos assures her that the reason he loves her and married her has nothing to do with her looks telling her the story of when he decided he wanted to marry her. "You know when I decided I wanted to spend forever with you? About two seconds ago. Up until then, it was touch and go..." she tells him.

An unwanted side effect of the fire is the injury to Orson's nose. It causes him to snore. "Robustly" as Bree puts it. She tries to convince him to get surgery to correct the issue, but Orson is afraid of going under anesthesia. "If we can't share a bed, it's going to affect the intimacy of our marriage," Bree tells Orson. "If I die, it will have the same effect!" Orson replies.

Orson is tired of sleeping on the sofa, so he tries to wheedle his way back into the marital bed with Bree by telling her that chamomile tea will alleviate his snoring. Well, actually it's not the tea that will eliminate the noise, but the drugs that Orson adds to Bree's cup. But Bree has already taken a sedative, so Orson tells her the tea will only counteract the effects.

The sedative makes Bree oversleep and nearly miss her cooking demonstration to promote her book. To further complicate matters, she gulps down the drugged cup of tea Orson left on the nightstand. It's not quite Lucy and the Vitameatavegamin disaster, but it's close enough and it becomes the final straw for Bree who insists on Orson getting the surgery.

Orson's doctor notices his reluctance and Bree explains that in a marriage, there's a balance of power. After they leave, the doctor calls his significant other and says, "Promise me we won't become one of those couples who make each other crazy!" And Bree's son Andrew at the other end of the line tells him, "You already make me crazy."

Speaking of secret couples, Katherine visits Mike in the hospital with a plate of macadamia nut cookies. "I burnt the first batch and I wasn't sure you'd appreciate the irony," she tells Mike. She's still apprehensive about coming out in the open about their relationship--especially since she hasn't broken the news to Susan yet. Leaving Mike's room, she runs into Susan in the hallway--but hedges when Susan asks who she was visiting.

She checks in on Mike and nicks one of his cookies. But she ends up spitting it out when she realizes it's made with macadamia nuts and not white chocolate (like the abomination that is white "chocolate" is so much better than macadamia nuts!). She notices how evasive Mike is about telling her who made him the cookies and guesses that he's dating someone. When Mike won't tell her who his new girlfriend is, she figures out it's someone she knows.

She confides in Katherine about who she suspects is the new squeeze and Katherine avoids correcting her assumption. But when she takes a bite of the macadamia nut cookie Katherine offers her, she realizes it's Katherine who's dating Mike. She's upset with Katherine, but becomes even more upset when Katherine tells her that Bree knew all along about the affair.

When she confronts Bree, Bree tells her that Susan is really angry with herself because she actually didn't want to end her marriage to Mike. She tells Susan to "either tell Mike how you feel or move on." Susan apparently decides to move on and calls Katherine to give the couple her blessing. She's not up for hanging out with Katherine, however, so obviously this isn't over.

While Susan and Katherine's friendship may be a bit shaky, Dave has gained a new ally in a very grateful Mike Delfino. He thanks Dave for saving his life and promises him free plumbing for the rest of his life. Mike tells Dave he wants to repay him for what he did and Dave tells him that since his brother died (the brother who Mike killed in prison!), he hasn't had a really good friend. "Can you handle that?" he asks Mike. Mike says he can.

It almost seems like Dave is deeply conflicted about the tragedy he caused because he spends most of the show walking around in a daze. He's questioned about the fire by the police--who haven't figured out the identity of the body burned in the storage room. Later, Edie tells him there's a rumor that Porter Scavo started the fire. She says she always knew Porter was bad news. "Trust me, I'm a really good judge of character." she tells her psycho husband.

Yeah, Edie--you're Sherlock Holmes when it comes to spotting sociopaths...

Lynette and Tom have their suspicions about Porter as well--especially after Lynette admits to Tom that Porter threatened Warren Schilling's life just prior to the fire breaking out. They both decide to protect Porter no matter what. As part of her plan to protect Porter, Lynette offers Anne Schilling a wad of money and a ride to the bus station. As she drops Anne off, she tells Anne not to call Porter--even after the baby's born. "There's no baby. Never was." Anne tells Lynette.

Seems like skanky Anne and scummy Warren were a match made in heaven...

Porter unsuccessfully tries to get a hold of Anne. He lies to Lynette about who he was calling when she comes into his room to talk with him. (What was up with the torn jeans Lynette was wearing? Hideous.) Lynette asks Porter point-blank if he started the fire--telling him that she can't help him if he lies to her. He tells her he doesn't know who set the fire. He also admits that he lied to her earlier and that he had been trying to get in touch with Anne Schilling. He asks Lynette if she knows where Anne went. Lynette tells him that she doesn't.

I guess that truthfulness thing is a one-way street...

But Lynette isn't the only one lying. Dave goes to the police and at first it seems like he's had a change of heart and plans to confess. But instead he rats out Porter Scavo to the police telling them that he saw Porter exiting the storage room just before the fire started.

Ah Dave--you may think you've pulled one over on Mike, but you've yet to face the wrath of Lynette...