Desperate Housewives - City on Fire

Well, it wasn't the whole CITY on fire in last night's episode of Desperate Housewives--just Warren Schilling's nightclub where the Battle of the Bands is being held. If you were expecting a tornado-level episode, not doubt you were disappointed. But some of the storylines got pushed along--and we got a brief appearance from Bob and Lee to boot!

Julie comes back to Wisteria Lane for a visit with her new boyfriend. Or more accurately OLD boyfriend. Played by Steven Weber (who could leave crumbs in my bed anytime!), the age difference between thrice-married and divorced Lloyd gives Susan pause. She has conniptions when Lloyd reveals to her that he plans to surprise Julie with an engagement ring.

Susan's lame attempts to thwart Lloyd's plan are unsuccessful--but it turns out Julie has no intention of marrying Lloyd. Or anyone. Ever. Susan's disastrous love life has turned Julie off to the idea of marriage forever. Susan has a heart-to-heart talk with her daughter about her own reversal in remaining open to romance and happily-ever-after.

Lloyd wasn't the only visitor to Wisteria Lane in last night's episode: Sandra, an investigative reporter shows up to interview Bree about her cookbook. Bree manages to maintain the illusion of perfection--until Orson's parole officer calls and leaves a message on the answering machine. "Now can I be gay?" Andrew asks Bree.

Then the muckraker starts digging up the dirt: Bree's alcoholism, Orson's attempt to kill Mike, Bree's first husband (remember Rex?) affinity for S&M hookers. Sandra is all set to expose Bree's massive imperfections--until an impassioned plea from Bree that her cookbook is not her attempt to lord it over the masses, but rather a way to give woman SOMETHING they can get right gives her another angle for her article.

In the "unwelcome visitors" category would be the return of Virginia Hildebrand. After including making the Solis' her sole heir, the psycho heiress insinuates her way into their lives again. She also wrangles an invitation to the Battle of the Bands when she shows up to pick Gaby in a limo. Gaby sucks it up for the sake of the future millions--but she balks when Virginia insists on sending the girls to private school. Gaby tells Virginia just what she can do with her money.

Who would have thought materialistic Gaby would walk away from millions?

Also making an unwelcome visit was Lynette to see Porter's paramour, Anne Schilling. After Porter's twin Preston alerts Lynette to the fact that Anne is pregnant and planning to run away with Porter, Lynette confronts the cougar. Unfortunately, her accusations are overheard by Warren Schilling who asks her to leave so he can have a word alone with his wife. Anne begs Lynette not to leave and she is torn.

Before she reaches her car, she turns back and discovers Warren kicking the $@#% out of Anne. She starts throwing candlesticks at him and threatening to call the police. Schilling stops beating his wife, but is less than scared by the threat of law enforcement given that Anne is guilty of statutory rape.

Porter confronts Lynette at the hospital and then runs off to deal with Warren Schilling. Lynette chases after him and catches up with him at the club where he's fighting with Warren. Lynette intercedes, telling Warren: "Hitting women and children...you must be so proud." Porter threatens to kill Warren before being hustled off by Lynette. He stomps off--but later returns with a gun.

But the most unwelcome visitor of all--at least as far as Dave Williams is concerned--would be Dr. Heller who shows up on Wisteria Lane just as Karen McCluskey and sister Roberta are discussing going to Boston to track him down and get more info on Dave. Heller runs into Edie, who unwittingly invites him to the Battle of the Bands event.

Heller shows up at the club and confronts "Dave"--who apparently is using an alias (no doubt the writers figured out that Mike might recognize the name as being the same as the guy he killed in self-defense in prison). Dave sweet talks the doctor into letting him play the gig, but when Heller sees the band line-up includes Mike Delfino he insists on talking to Mike.

Dave gets the doctor alone in a storage room and strangles him and then using alcohol as starter fluid, sets the room on fire to cover up the murder. He also locks Jackson in the men's room since he saw Dave leaving the storage room. As Blue Odyssey (who follow the band "Cold Splash" aka Tokyo Police Club) performs Mustang Sally, Edie notices flames and screams fire. There is a rush to the door--which had been locked by Warren Schilling to keep Porter and Lynette from re-entering.

Dave throws a chair through the window and starts helping people out. Tom helps Carlos, Gaby assists Virgina. Jackson, who was locked in the men's room, does busts a window and escapes as well. Susan, not seeing Jackson, freaks out ('cuz that's what she does best!) and Mike runs back into the club to save him. Then Jackson shows up safe and sound, and Dave runs into the club and rescues Mike.

Since Dave's plan was to harm Mike, why would he go back and carry him out? He leans over and whispers to the unconscious Mike as he lays on the stretcher: "Hang in there. I'm not done with you yet."

Apparently no-one ever doubts a hero. Although I'm sure Karen McCluskey would disagree.