Ugly Betty/The Office - Granny Pants and Crime Aid

The claws have come out on Ugly Betty and surprisingly it's not between Daniel and Wilhelmina who are sharing control of Mode magazine. Well, not exactly "sharing"--it's more of a power struggle in the "I know you are, but what am I?" sense of the word.

Was anyone surprised that Willie was Daniel's blind date? Yeah, me neither. Still, they did manage to work together to get off the dreadful date cruise. "You can't set the boat on fire. Exposives work better." I loved the hairspray blowtorch that Willie used to set off the fire alarm. I've always wanted to use that in a script...

The real fireworks were between Betty and her former nemesis, Kimmie Keegan. When Kimmie lands a temp gig at Mode, Betty is prepared to let her twist in the wind as a result of how horribly Kimmie treated her in high school. But Ignacio convinces her to be the bigger person and so Betty helps Kimmie by training her in the art of ARG: Anticipation, Research and Gumption.

But the student soon becomes the teacher with Kimmie excelling under Betty's tutelage that she helps get Mode featured on Page Six and lands herself an assistant editor position. With her confidence back in place, Kimmie become the same evil conniving bitch that mistreated Betty in high school. And so Betty's former nemesis becomes her current nemesis. As Christina says to Betty: "You may have graduated but high school never ends..."

Sigh. Amen to that!

But Betty's torment won't last for long--according to rumors (coincidentally or not, from Page Six), Lohan's stint on the show has been reduced from six episodes to four.

(La Lohan is looking a bit ragged. Although she's two years younger than America Ferrara, her skin has so much sun damage that she looks ten years older. Although the discoloration of Lohan's skin did distract me from the horrible swoopy bang thing that was going on with Vanessa Williams hair...)

From next week's previews it looks like Kimmie's reign as Mode It Girl is going to be short-lived. It's bad enough to have Marc and Amanda gunning for you, but cross Wilhelmina and you've just about written your own epitaph...

(I have my closed captioning turned on for my TV, and when the theme song for The Office starts it states [cheerful music]. I love that!)

Okay, we all love Jim and Pam--but I have to say that Michael and Holly are certainly giving them a run for their money in the cutest couple category. Gearing up for date number three, Michael wonders if--as per "tradition"--this will be the date where they consummate their relationship. He's not sure Holly is on the same "schedule" and muses, "If she starts having sex with me, I'll know for sure..."

Not content to let nature take its course, Michael in all his Michael-nes comes right out and asks if they will be having sex after their date. "Hell yeah," says the unperturbed Holly.

God, they are so perfect for each other...

Meanwhile, another relationship is on the rocks. Dwight is chafing at the thought of Angela's marriage to Andy. Phyllis offers a shoulder to cry on. Dwight tells her that Angela "introduced me to so many things. Pasteurized milk, sheets, monotheism...presents on your birthday, preventative medicine." He asks Phyllis how Angela could marry Andy. Phyllis replies, "Angela's not much of a risk taker. And Andy's not much of a risk." Phyllis advises Dwight to give Angela an ultimatum. And if she chooses to stay with Andy, then Dwight should move on. Dwight tells Angela she has until 6:14 pm to make up her mind.

Holly and Michael end up having sex in the office after hours--but that may have left the building open for thieves to rob the office. Oscar complains that his laptop is missing and Kevin whines about his stolen surge protector. Oscar asks how that compares to his stolen laptop and Kevin says, "I'm now going to be prone to surges!" Angela is creeped out by the robbery, but Andy assures her, "You're always safe with me. I'm a very good screamer."

Michael comes up with the brilliant idea to have a charity auction to raise money to replace the items that were stolen. "Crime Aid." The big ticket item: Two Bruce Springsteen tickets. "The boss scored The Boss," says Holly. Michael opens up the auction with Huey Lewis and the News and "The Heart of Rock 'n Roll." Darryl, who was enlisted to pull together Michael's ten favorite Springsteen tunes, says the list consisted of three songs by Huey Lewis and the News, Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car," and the song "Short People."

The gavel Michael uses for the auction is a rubber toy. "It squeaks when you bang it. That's what she said!" Michael riffs. As it turns out, the Springsteen tickets were "stolen" (i.e.; they never existed), but the big ticket item turns out to be a hug from Phyllis. Dwight gets into a bidding war with Phyllis' husband Bob Vance, raising the bid by a penny each time. Bob buys a hug from his wife for $1,000.

After the auction, David Wallace from Corporate--who donated a weekend at his place on Martha's Vineyard for the cause, catches a glimpse of Holly and Michael kissing. Sigh. Looks like Holly's departure from the show is imminent...I wonder if that means Toby will be back soon?

As for Jim and Pam, a random encounter with Pam's ex, Roy, leaves Jim a bit unsettled--and he almost drives to the city to ease his anxiety. But right before the exit, he turns around--'cuz he's not that guy.