Desperate Housewives - Awkward Moments

Last night's episode was all about awkward moments--starting out with an awkward meeting between a barely clothed Jackson and Mike Delfino. Mike tells Susan that he wants to "hang" with Jackson to make sure he's an okay guy. Susan reluctantly agrees after Mike threatens to have the custody agreement revisited.

But it turns out that Mike and Jackson get along swimmingly becoming best buddies. This turns out to be awkward for Susan when apparently their conversation included information about her sexual preferences. Susan then forbids Jackson to see Mike, but thinks he's sneaking behind her back when he calls to cancel a date.

She storms off to Mike's favorite hangout to confront the two, but it turns out Jackson wasn't lying. Susan tells Mike that her aversion to their friendship is that she doesn't want Jackson to see her through Mike's eyes. Mike tells her that if she could see herself through her eyes, she'd know it wouldn't be a problem.

Hmm, seems like the Mike and Susan story may not be totally over yet...

So Susan relents on Mike and Jackson being friends--only to find her other ex, Karl, haranguing her new love when she returns home.

Apparently over the last five years, Carlos has become a masseuse. Gaby objects to him massaging clients at home and makes him get a job doing massaging at the local country club. But this causes an even bigger issue in the Solis social life when Bree has to disinvite Gaby from the Michelle Downing party because most of the attendees are club members and would feel uncomfortable socializing with the "help."

Gaby insists on crashing the party, however, and thinks she's scored a way in when she snags the seats of a couple where the wife has been felled by the flu. But when the husband shows up escorting his elderly mother, it creates yet another awkward moment.

Bree's awkward moment came when unveiling her new book to son Andrew and hubby Orson. When Orson asked why she was using the name "Van de Kamp" instead of "Hodge," Andrew excuses himself saying, "I think I just heard the milk go bad."

Bree tries to explain that she started her professional life while they were separated and that "Van de Kamp" is more mellifluous than "Hodge." But Orson doesn't buy it and thinks that she is ashamed that he was in prison--which he did at her insistence at the end of season four. (Hmm--did the writers flash forward five years just to keep Kyle MacLachlan written into the show? Or was it to allay the overuse of Botox in its stars foreheads?)

The most awkward moment belonged to Lynette. (And not just because she is still in perpetual bad hair day mode...) In an effort to find out what is going on in Porter's (I think it was Porter. Maybe it was Preston. And can anyone tell me why Parker, who I thought was the oldest, looks so much younger than his younger brothers five years later? ) life, creates a fake profile on a Facebook type site. The plan backfires when Porter (or maybe it was Preston...) falls for the online persona and professes his love.

Tom flips out when he finds out Lynette has been continuing this online charade after he told her not to. "Are you gonna tell him the truth now or are you gonna wait 'til he kills me and blinds himself?" Nice Oedipus Rex reference, writers--and the best line of the night!

Lynette constructs an online IM to let Porter (or Preston) down easy. But she accidentally signs it "Love, Mom" and sends it. Or course Porter (or Preston) is destroyed and although Lynette apologizes, things are rough between the two.

But things go from awkward to creepy with Edie's husband, Dave. When Edie, in a fit of pique, starts packing to leave Wisteria Lane, Dave tries to calm her down. "Please don't use your motivational voice!" Edie warns him. Turns out, Edie was hurt by a joke made by McCluskey at her expense. So Dave decides to pay a visit to Karen to smooth things over. But Karen seems immune to Dave's Svengali ways and refuses to apologize to Edie.

Then Toby (that's Ida's infamous cat) disappears.

Dave offers to help look for the vanished feline--if McCluskey can help him out by apologizing to Edie. That's when the very sharp Mrs. McCluskey decides that maybe Dave is using more than his motivational voice as a tool of persuasion.

She apologizes to Edie and makes a point of asking her to make sure Dave knows that they made up. And voila! Toby returns. Or more accurately "is returned." So McCluskey enlists Katherine's help (Dana Delaney mostly absent for this episode until the end...) to do an internet search on the mysterious Mr. Williams.

Hmm--wonder what they find out...