Reinventing Self

Nah--not more examples of facelifts gone horribly wrong, but an actual ad posted in the General Community section of Los Angeles Craigslist.

To wit:

"I'm looking for a couple preferable white,or jewish highly educated, sophisticated, cultured, renaissance power couple in their mid 40's or older to help 'train' me. I lack class and want it. I want to elevate myself and despite doing a lot [going to museums, plays, reading, continuing education - working on masters in psychology] i just can't seem to break that 'black woman' barrier. I'm 40 too old for Ms Porter. You can't buy class which is good because I don't have the money. I am overweight but had bariatric surgery and about 50 pounds from looking normal again. I am due for a breast reduction and tummy tuck. I want a new self and sense of worth to go with the new body. I can offer gratitude and maybe some kinkdom in exchange for taking me under your wings. Please don't write me about self esteem and therapy. I simple want someone to take me under their wings. So all you wealthy eccentrics or exiled countess here's your chance the perfect understudy awaits.. a willing and eager student.I live in los angeles county"

Gratitude and maybe some kinkdom?

Damn, you can't make this @#$% up!