Memos to Morons - part five

TO: My fellow yoga classmate

RE: Your cellular device

The time is the 7 pm Wednesday night yoga class. The place Bodies in Motion in West L.A. And you, the chicklet wearing the olive green ensemble with the red yoga mat, ruined my zen as your cellular device chirped sporadically but repeatedly throughout class.

I can understand perhaps forgetting to turn it off before class started, but the first time it goes off why didn't you quickly turn it OFF to prevent it from continuing to disturb your fellow classmates? It chirped about a dozen times--even during savasana! I wasn't sure where it was coming from, but sure enough as soon as class was over you rolled up your mat and stuck your headset into your ear and started chatting before you even got out the door.

Did you think the rest of us were so impressed at your apparent popularity? Think again.

If I am ever unfortunate enough to share a class with you again and you forget to turn off your cellphone, I will come over to wherever you are and stomp on it.

I may even stomp on you.

You've been warned...