Hopefully the AMPTP doesn't know about this...

I'd hate to see the talented writers of my favorite shows replaced by monkeys. But I'm sure the greedy bastards of Big Media would do it if they could! (Although, it might be an improvement for Cavemen and Carpoolers. And even According to Jim...)

From Emil Steiner's OFF/Beat:

In the latest setback for aspiring writers, the world's oldest monkey has reportedly been offered a book deal. Cheeta the Chimp, who has stared in 12 Tarzan movies, worked with Bela Lugosi and even overcome an addiction to alcohol and cigars, will work with a ghostwriter to concoct a "funny, moving and searingly honest" autobiography. (Is James Frey available?) It remains unclear how much of Me Cheeta, due out this fall, will be written by the 75-year-old chimp, whose real name is Jiggs.

And I can't even get an agent!