And yet some more Keywords

In my never-ending quest to provide y'all with a full-service blog here, I have gone over the search terms that some people use to find me to see if people found what they were looking for. In most cases, readers did indeed find the correct information. But some went away empty-handed. For those searching for naked pictures of Louise Cliffe (I never even heard of this chick until I started this blog), I will not be fulfilling that need. Ditto to those looking for "Mark Cuban + shirtless." What is your problem people? That's just twisted. Albeit not so much as the person looking for "Tom Bergeron + shirtless." That's just wrong.

A lot of interest in Desperate Housewives. One person was interested in Bree's unhinged mother-in-law. The character's name is Phyllis Van de Camp and she is played with devilish delight by Shirley Knight. Another person wondered "who is ida who is karen?" Ida Greenberg is one of the older residents of Wisteria Lane. Kind of shrunken and shriveled as played by Pat Crawford Brown. On the mid-season finale, she was the friend of Karen who had the cat in the basement that Lynette's husband Tom was allergic to. Yeah, Karen as in McCluskey (played by Kathryn Joosten--you probably remember her as Mrs. Landingham, the no-nonsense secretary to the President in The West Wing)--the Scavo's neighbor who served as babysitter and reluctantly offered the clan shelter in her basement during the tornado. It was her house that was completely destroyed by the tornado.

Speaking of which--people are trying to figure out who lived through the disaster. We won't know until new episodes beginning airing again and that could be quite some time with the WGA strike. Based on Mary Alice's opening monologue that one would lose a husband and all would lose a friend, I'm betting on Victor (I mean we all saw the guy get impaled with a piece of fence and he WAS Gabby's hubby!) and Ida (last seen sleeping before the tornado hit--she may have died before the house above her was turned to rubble...). The other loose thread is--as one reader put it "what is Katherine hiding about Dylan's father?" That is a question that may be answered when DH returns to the airwaves. My theory is that Dylan's father molested her, she accidentally killed him, Katherine and her aunt hid the body and the traumatized Dylan went into shock and repressed the memory.

Speaking of the Writers Strike, many people are wondering when it will end. No-one knows. If the AMPTP stops their union busting tactics and goes back to the negotiating table, it could end before Christmas. Right now, that doesn't seem likely. I get my strike related news from United Hollywood, a blog started by WGA strike captains, Deadline Hollywood Daily, L.A. Weekly entertainment writer Nikki Finke's blog and A-list screenwriters Craig Mazin and Ted Elliot's blog The Artful Writer. One reader wanted to find out the planetary influences on the Writers Strike--and believe it or not, I have it! Astrologer/writer Eric Francis analyzed the aspects on his Planet Waves website.

Desperate Housewives isn't the only TV show that generates queries--Ugly Betty gets its share as well. One wondered "who is faith summers?" Um, it's FAYE Summers. She was the former editor of Mode magazine who had a long-term affair with Meade Publishing mogul, Bradford Meade. She was killed in a car accident, engineered by Bradford's wife, Claire, who is presently serving time in prison for the crime. After her death, control of Mode went to Alex (now Alexis) and when Alex was presumed dead in a ski accident (only to return as Alexis following a sex change operation), Daniel Meade was appointed editor by his father Bradford--much to Wilhelmina Slater's chagrin. In addition to Faye's affair with Bradford, she also had a one night stand at Studio 54 with an unknown man resulting in the birth of Amanda Tanen--who found out at the end of last season that she is Faye Summers biological daughter. Someone wanted to know about the husband of Faye Summers. I don't believe Faye was married. She just slept around a lot.

For Heroes, someone wondered if Nathan was dead. Well, it sure looked that way. Perhaps they'll give him an infusion of Claire's blood in time to save him. Or wouldn't Peter's work since he has regenerative abilities as well? I hope they find a way to save him--Adrian Pasdar is such a cutie! I've gotten hits from people wondered about the horn headed guy on My Name is Earl. The character's name is Kevin the Unicorn Man and he's played by Brandon Ficara. IMDB is your friend people. That where you can find out that the "Man who hires Wells" in No Country for Old Men was played by Stephen Root (News Radio, Office Space). And speaking of No Country for Old Men, I found the script here. It's a great read.

More random queries include:

Q. Is Joshua Tree remastered analog?
A. Yes, it is meticulously re-mastered from the original analog master tapes.

Q. Who played harmonica on Moondance on the August Rush soundtrack?
A. My research turned up the factoid that Robin Williams played the harmonica for this track. Hmmm, interesting...

Q. "Talk to Me Starring John Chetah"
A. Um, Talk to Me starred Don Cheadle. Ocean's 11, 12 and 13, Hotel Rwanda, Crash. DON CHEADLE. Sheesh.

Q. Average time to read 100 pages?
A. Depends on whether you read quickly or slowly--and what you are reading, but I estimate about a minute per page (that's how they determine time re: screenplay length) so say about 1.5 - 2 hours to read 100 pages.

Q. Average lantus dose?
A. Again this is very individual and will depend on whether you have type 1 or type 2 diabetes. Type 2 is insulin resistant and so more insulin is required. Age, activity level and weight all factor in. I am a fairly active, slender female and I inject 13 units of Lantus daily. My preference is to inject in the AM, that way I don't deal with it peaking in the middle of the night when my insulin requirements are lowest. If my blood sugar readings during the day--especially after dinner--are erratic with wildly high levels, it means I need more Lantus.

Q. Blood sugar over 600?
A. I've experienced this. Let's put it this way--with average/normal levels being around 100, a glucose level over 600 is SIX TIMES higher than normal. It's dangerous and a possible precursor to DKA, diabetic ketoacidosis, or even a coma. If you're blood sugar gets that high, you most likely need insulin. You definitely need medical help.

For the person searching on "single female 40s looking for daddy relationship"--good luck with that! I believe most sugar daddies are looking for "single female 20s." And for the dreamer googling "small two bedroom two bathroom under $1,000 in L.A., CA," I have to say -- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Sorry. You obviously haven't perused the rental listings on Craigslist or else you'd know that's it's almost impossible to find a studio apartment for under $1,000 in L.A. Even in Watts, Compton and Inglewood. You might be able to find an inexpensive two bedroom in Barstow or Bakerfield--but that's a heckuva commute to L.A.

I don't know what to say to the person who searched for "santa claus trashcan." That's sadder than the "Tom Bergeron + shirtless" seeker. I got several hits for the Inside the Actor's Studio questionnaire, so I thought I'd end with the questions--and my answers:

What is your favorite word?

Passion.

What is your least favorite word?

No.

What turns you on?

Great conversations.

What turns you off?

Hypocrisy

What is your favorite curse word?

Fuck and all permutations thereof.

What sound or noise do you love?

Rainfall while sleeping.

What sound or noise do you hate?
Doors slamming

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

If I had the talent, I'd love to be a dancer.

What profession would you not like to do?

Eldercare.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Nice job!