Faking It

Lately I've been honing my talents in an area that I have little ability or experience. Although I like to think of myself as being stoic, opaque--even impassive, truth be known I'm pretty transparent. Wearing my heart on my sleeve, easy to read every sigh, smirk and eye roll. But hey, honesty is the best policy, right? Not always.

Putting best foot forward, making a good first impression is generally something saved for interviews and first (and maybe second and third) dates. But eventually the mask comes off, the truth revealed. It may be more "real" and "honest" but it's not always best for business. And it's all business, isn't it? I had a friend once who referred to it as "giving good face." I suck at it. But there are several people in my life right now that I'd rather not have to deal with--but I have no choice.

And so the mask goes on. I smile, fake interest, feign friendliness. I feel like a big fat fraud. It's manipulative, deceptive, fake--all things I hate. But it's necessary. And it's a skill that will be useful in other areas of my life. Like when some producer reads my smart and incisive dark comedy and says he loves it--he sees Martin Lawerence in the lead. And the mask will go on and I'll just smile.

Sigh.