Monday Night Update

Basically the Dancing with the Stars contenders can be grouped in three segments--the good, the bad and everyone else. The good is very good--Cheetah Girl Sabrina and racecar driver Helio looked every bit as at ease on the dance floor as their professional partners. They're my picks to go all the way to the finals. They both got the highest judges scores last night--27 for Helio and his mambo and 26 for Sabrina's quickstep.

At the other end of the spectrum is Wayne Newton. Words cannot begin to describe how abysmal his performance was. It makes you long for the dance stylings of Jerry Springer. Or John Ratzenberger even...His quick step was a muddled mess and he was mouthing along to the lyrics. Yeeesh! Although he scored the lowest point total of the evening at 15, the geezer sympathy vote will keep him in the running for a few more shows.

Multi-billionaire Mark Cuban made a not too embarrassing showing last night. He must have gotten focus group feedback because his facial hair (which made him look weaselly...) was shaved off and wore a better fitting outfit. But again he was doing weird things with his face--maybe to keep the judges attention off the weird things he was doing with his feet. He got an 18--and that along with his lack of fan support will likely have him leaving the dance floor come tonight's results show.

Everyone else did an acceptable job--nothing to rave about. Except with the possible exception of Marie Osmond--who still looks like she's carrying Donny around her mid-section. She remarked during rehearsal that she didn't realize how out of shape she was. Seriously, sweetheart--do you not own a mirror? Still, she gave a fabulous performance last night--netting her a score of 24 points. And Donny was there in the audience, rooting her on! She'll be sticking around for a while...

Floyd Mayweather is my other pick for a fairly early exit. He did a better job than last outing--but that's not saying much. For a dancer, he makes a good boxer. Don't quit your day job, Floyd!

In other Monday night news, Heroes picked up the story pace a bit last night. Or maybe my flipping back and forth between DWTS and Heroes made it seem that way. Angela Petrelli is next on the killer's list. And who is the killer? Is it Sylar--who allegedly was killed by Hiro's sword but has popped up in promos for the show? Is it the invisible guy from last season who showed Peter how to control his powers and who has a justifiable beef with "The Company"?

And who is left in "The Company" anyway? Bennet killed Eric Roberts and escaped with his family, D.L. killed Malcolm McDowell, Molly's safe with Mohinder and Matt, and the shapeshifter girl and manipulative girl seem to be out of commission. So who's left? Not the Haitian, who Mohinder (pretending to work for "The Company") cured and who has now rejoined Bennet. Ah, Butch and Sundance--back together again!

So Mohinder has infiltrated The Company as a double agent, Claire is doing the rebellious teenager thing and cutting off her toes (seriously--pierce something or get a tattoo! Removing body parts is a bit extreme...), Peter (does it look like Milo spent summer hiatus working out at the gym or what?) still has amnesia and is being held prisoner by people with really bad Irish accents, Nathan is doing his best unabomber impression and Hiro is still in 17th century Japan, altering history. Or is he? It seems the "scary white man" samurai Takezo Sensei may also have superpowers--but so far this storyline is not doing much for me.

And speaking of storylines which doing nothing for me--Maya and Alejandro made it across the border--but not before releasing their genetic curse. Maya carries the plagues and Alejandro cures it. OK, you don't need to flip a coin to decide which is the better superpower...They remain annoying and Maya's black bloody tears creep me out.

No sign of Niki/Jessica, Micah and D.L. (Hey if Matt Parkman can survive 3-4 bullets in the chest, certainly D.L. can live through ONE!) yet. And whatever happened to Hana Gittelman who showed up in one episode to incite Ted Sprague to search for answers on The Company--and then completely disappeared? Or Sylar...did he die last season or not? And what does the weird symbol painted across photos of Hiro's father and Nathan's mother and worn as a necklace by amnesiac Peter mean? Looking at the IMDB credits for next week's episode--it looks like Niki, Micah and Sylar will be making an appearance, so I guess we'll get some answers next week...