Until I'm living the dream, I'm working to pay the rent...

One of the first things I noticed about Los Angeles when I first moved here is that just about everyone is a dual personality. This isn't to say that they're "two-faced" although I've met many Angelenos that fit that description, but that they do one thing to pay the rent until they can do what they REALLY want to do--and get paid for it! Yeah, your waitress is really an actress and the flight attendant is actually a producer and that guy in tech support is really a director and I'm really a writer--but I pay the bills (for now!) doing bookkeeping...

The other thing I noticed about L.A. is that the work ethic is definitely more laid back. Sure you have some movers and shakers--agents, lawyers, bankers, CPAs--but most people's career-track or work life is much more amorphous. Dilettantes and dabblers are welcome here. The Monday through Friday nine-to-five grind is more the exception than the rule. Casual Friday? Try casual Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc.

Due to the flexible nature of work in Los Angeles, there are some pretty interesting ways to earn a living. In addition to your typical Administrative Assistants, Accountants, Customer Service Reps, Sales people, Office Managers, Computer programmers and such, you have job openings for more unusual positions--from wearing a furry animal costume at a theme park to corralling unsuspecting passers-by into a focus group for a movie test screening.

Sometimes the uniqueness of the job is due to its title. Hey this is Hollywood and it's all about billing. Like Starbucks and their "Baristas," Target and their "Guest Service Team Members" (because you and I aren't "customers," we're "guests!") and the NEW AT&T has "Retail Sales Consultants." But my two favorite job titles come from recent Craigslist postings--first, the Pita Pit is looking for "Rolling Technicians." Can you imagine yourself at a party and you meet someone and they ask what you do for a living? "I'm a Rolling Technician at the Pita Pit." Even better than that is the position of "Cupcake Associate" for the hottest trend in snacks these days--Sprinkles Cupcakes. Hey, Oprah and Paris eat them so they must be good! But how fun must it be to work as a "Cupcake Associate?" CA's make $12/hour--not bad considering your average overworked Production Assistant generally makes $10/hour. Unless, of course the Production Assistant is an intern (which is code for "Slave Labor" in L.A), in which case they make $0.00/hr.

In addition to billing, "casting" is also involved in many jobs in Los Angeles. I'm sure the shirtless hottie standing outside Abercrombie & Fitch applied for the position with a headshot rather than a resume and many ads for Personal Assistants (which is code for barely paid slave labor in L.A.) require a picture along with resume. Heaven forbid we might actually have to interview ugly people for the job! I just saw a posting today casting the "role" of Concierge/Leasing Consultant for a posh upscale apartment building in Westwood. When you're paying $7k a month in rent, you definitely want whoever is working the front desk to be attractive.

Oh yeah--we've got jobs for dog wranglers, sign spinners and clutter busters. There's a job for anyone and anything in Los Angeles. Would you believe an ad for Narcotics Canine Handler? You could take Rover home and have him sniff out the 420 for you, confiscate it from your hapless neighbor and kick back and smoke some weed at home. Good job, Rover! If that's not up your alley, then how about something a bit more creative? Do you walk around permanently on tip-toe and manage to stay vertical even with a grossly cantilevered chest? Then check out the the Barbie Product Design Manager job! While most taggers would be slapped with a misdemeanor if caught, a recent ad on Craigslist was looking to pay a Graffiti Artist to do body graffiti for a photo shoot. That sounds pretty awesome--but I suppose it depends on the body. If it's the A&F shirtless guy or a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, then SWEET! But if it's Rosie O'Donnell or Dennis Franz then no amount of money would be enough...

Last but not least--there was a posting for a very specific niche position. A Public Relations assistant to work in the Gay and Lesbian division. I had no idea PR firms were so segmented. I wonder if they have a "pop stars exhibiting bipolar behavior" division, "actors doing multiple rehab stints" division and a "famous for no reason DUI" division. But anyway, the ad states that they are looking for someone "with a passion to learn the business from the bottom up." Maybe they don't mean that the way it sounds. At least they didn't require a photo along with the resume...