Scientists find YET something else that causes cancer...

According to an article in The Washington Post today, Oral Sex Causes Cancer.

Whoa. Bummer...

Research indicates that in addition to cervical cancer, HPV may be responsible for cancers of the throat and tongue. Stupid researchers. They take away cigarettes, alcohol, caffeine, nitrates, cyclamates, trans fats--looks like there's nothing left but vegetables, distilled water and the missionary position. I bet they find out celery causes cancer next...

Some may find this positive news. Yet another excuse to avoid--well, you know... Women always had TMJ (temporomandibular joint) syndrome, but this is even better! Sorry, honey--you know I'd love to do my Linda Lovelace impression, but you wouldn't want me to get throat cancer, would you?

Those still willing to take the risk should know that out of the 45,000 head and neck cancers each year, 80-90% are caused by alcohol or tobacco (so they're still on the list!). And, the link has not been definitively proven--it's just an implication thus far.

But on the positive side, a recent shows that, despite alleged cancer risks, seniors are still having sex. According to another article in The Washington Post,

"...[M]ore than half of those aged 57 to 75 said they gave or received oral sex, as did about a third of 75- to 85-year-olds."

You go, Grandma! Cancer, schmancer...