Super Uber Vexed

Here in L.A. we've got Al Gore at the Oscars, Leo DiCaprio hosting Earth Day and George Clooney preaching the advantages of going green. We've almost got probably more SUVs per capita than any other city. (This may or may not be a fact. But from the driver's seat of my little Mazda, it certainly seems true.)

Now it's not that these things, which in many cases are bigger than the average bachelor apartment in Los Angeles, are gas guzzling road hogs which leave carbon footprints the size of Godzilla. It's not even that their owners generally are tiny waif-like women who can't see over the steering wheel and whose driving skills are sub-par even when not yakking on a cell phone while making an illegal U-turn.

It's the parking issue. Hey, it's bad enough that these monstrosities generally need a space and a half. But why oh why do the owners insist on parking these Goliaths in COMPACT parking spaces!!! Seriously--in what context are these vehicles COMPACT?!!! Compared to the small, African nations of Swaziland or Lesotho? In comparison to an asteroid? Do they think the spaces NOT marked "Compact" are for Semi-trucks or Boeing jets?

Attention SUV drivers!!!! Your vehicle is NOT COMPACT! Stop parking in the freaking compact parking spaces!

Idiots.